The diagnosis of cancer, and I suspect of any life altering illness, can catapult people into bottomless depression or joyful wreckless abandon. I am choosing the latter, although not totally completely wreckless as one cannot hope to finish a bucket list if one if too wreckless in the pursuit. This is my early morning attempt at humor. My kids don't always get my humor, but I know I AM funny!
My desire is to travel even more. Although our military moves and family visits have taken us through almost all 50 states, we were driving with the destination in mind and didn't really experience very many of them. Now that I've had a taste of international travel... Oh, the places I'll go! Feeling inspired, I also want to cook Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon and finally become a published author! Oh and, I've always longed to dance like the stars! I bought this Ballroom Dancing for Dummies DVD years ago and it's calling my name! Of course there will be tons of pictures to document everything!
My reality is, that even with a tropical paradise just outside my window and everything back home in the hands of loving friends, it's 4:30am and I can't sleep. My mind won't stay asleep for long and once it awakens, it wonders will today be a bad headache day? I try not to let the headaches get me down. I tell myself they are signs of healing, but at times my thoughts drift to what if it they are signs it has returned and spread... I lay in bed and wonder what can I accomplish today? What needs to be done? No, accomplishments and needs sound too much like work and I'm here to relax. How can i squeeze every ounce of joy from this day? Well, not wasting another moment of it sleeping is a start. I'll get a pedicure. I'm going to rewrite our Christmas letter after breakfast, tossing the hastily composed copies I brought with me in favor of something more creative. Then, I'm going to swim in the ocean. Tonight, more one on one time with my main squeeze! No doubt, I simply must buy a couple more Hawaiian dresses! Hawaiian dresses are the epitomes of carefree, comfort, bright rainbow color, and giddy cheerfulness! In other words... Joyful Wreckless Abandon!
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